So I used to write in a journal since I was a weeee lil' one. Things about the mindless things I did that day, the mindless elementary fights I got in at school, who I was crushin' on and thought was sooooooo hot. Which one of my friends was my best friend of the week and of course alot about why I dislike my parents enough to want to run away from home. Ah to be young and think your world then had so many problems. I also used to write about other things in life in it.
One day, I finally did move out and run away from home. At the time I was living with my father. Most days ran like this: school, lunch being taken over by Spirit Minister duties, afterschool sport(either basketball or soccer), walk 45 minutes to work or bus if I was fortunate enough to work at 4:30 and not 4, and work till 8. Some nights, like Fridays, I would work till 12. If I didn't have sports or work, I had homework. Ok honestly.. I never really did my homework when I was 17.
To make a long story short, I decided one morning to not do dishes and do my laundry out of the fact that I got home late after a looong day of being a teenager. It happened to be a particular Friday where I had worked till 12 and got home around 12:30. And then I had to work the next day I think around mid-afternoon. My Dad worked nights and came home around 7am. Now, being the considerate daughter I thought I was, I didn't want to wake up early and make noise by running the laundry machine and doing dishes and waking my dad up or keep him from falling asleep if he hadn't already. I thought it was nice. So I got up and got ready for work. After work I figured I would come home and do the dishes then. And then my laundry sunday. I thought it was ok.
Oh man my father did not. Apparently it's not ok for a teenager who barely has no time on her hands to not follow through on her chores. Now me and my dad had been butting heads for a bit. But I did not expect him to go apeshit on me for sparing him some noise so he could sleep. He even had the nerve to tell me that all he does is work very hard and I do nothing so I should have been able to do the dishes and my laundry. Nothing. A teenager who has a job 20 hours a week plus school, plus school leader responsibilities plus fundraising for various causes my school did, plus sports 3 nights a week. Yup, I do nothing alright.
So, not only did he ground me, but he also demanded I do the dishes and my laundry right away. At 8 at night. On a Saturday. Me being a typical 17 year old teenager thought this was absurd. It was absurd. I took a stand right then and there and told him exactly what I do all week. Yes, I don't contribute to bills, and yes Father you do work very hard at YOUR job to put a roof over our heads, but don't ever tell me that I do NOTHING because to me school, sports, my Dominican fundraising, my spirit minister and my job are actually more like 5 jobs compared to his one job. And then I told him that I had plans that night after work to go out with my friends and I was going and I'd be home at 12. I got the ultimatum. You do dishes and laundry now and you don't go out or you leave and don't come back.
I left.
Typical 17 year old behavior I stubbornly said fine and I left. I had finally had it with my Fathers demands that really he should not have been putting on a 17 year old. If you think this was selfish... it probably was. However, you weren't the one coming home from being in school and sports and then work at 12 at night to a room with your pjs on the floor and your bed unmade with a note saying your room was a "fucking pigstye clean this mess up" all the time, or the yelling if I came home a little later from work and made noise and woke him up on the nights he didn't work nights.
So I left, saw my friends, got drunk and probably a little stoned and crashed at my buddy's place.
The next day is probably the longest walk I have ever had to do. I did not want to come home to the wrath that awaited me.. but I had to. And the second I walked through the door I had a bunch of suitcases thrown at me and I was told to take it all or it gets thrown out. And this is were the subject of the journals come into play.
I'm going to go offtopic a bit. I was dating this guy for 2 years. And I told him this story once. And he would throw at me, very meanly infact, that I would never have the guts to write again or keep a journal again due to the fact that I was scared that someone would find out my secrets. And I would be caught in my lies (imaginary but that's another story) because in my writing would be truth I didn't want anyone to find out. Because not writing or keeping a journal was safe for me. Because in my journal the other things I wrote about were things I didn't want out in the open. Come on at 17, who wants their innermost feelings to be put out their publicly. Mine more then most as well due to life altering events (again another story).
Ok back on topic! So I packed up what I could, I made a phone call to store all my stuff in a buddy's basement (who's father was a druggie alcoholic who ended up going through it all a few times probably to score something for cash) and out the door I went... leaving behind a box of artwork and my journals. To which my father found and decided to read through them, and so to speak "air my dirty laundry" to the world of the O.P.P. Which then upturned my life once again.
I haven't written anything journal like since.. but for the last time, the guy I had dated had told me once again that I would always have to be safe and hide behind my version of truths because he could never accept that my truths were infact TRUTH.
So to him.. I say fuck you. Here's to writing again. And after this looong winded novel of a blog post I just created, I'm going to say it took one asshole to make me stop, but it took another asshole to claim I could never be honest to create this blog,
and give him a big HELLL YA I'm not afraid because I have nothing to hide.
Phewwww. Ok.. onto some mindless stuff.... I do have many good memories of my father... he helped me become the wrestling fan I am today!!
To sum up... here's some Stone Cold Austin for ya!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpazQpIFoyQ
Latah Daze
No comments:
Post a Comment